On April 20th, 2013 I will attempt to finish my first 5K.
I am very nervous. I want to do well and run the whole thing. I'm doing well with pacing myself and knowing my limits, but I also know that if I can't finish this I will be very disappointed in myself.
Yesterday I ran 2.25 miles. I sprinted the last 1/4 mile, completely draining myself of energy. I was able to walk another 1/4 mile before I could feel muscles tightening up and knew that I needed to stretch. But I did it. And I ran farther and for longer than I ever have before (including when I was back in my ultra fit/in shape days).
I admit, I am still not a huge fan of running. It doesn't take a lot of coercing or forcing myself to start, but if I'm not in the right frame of mind at the time I place my feet on that treadmill belt, I find I can't run more than a mile.
If I DO finish a run that's more than a mile I feel fantastic. I'm sure I look like a goofball, walking out of the gym with an enormous grin plastered on my face, but I'm proud of myself and I've worked hard to get to this level. I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm not going to stop trying and I'm not going to give up on myself.
I have a friend who worked at the gym I go to and was pretty much my sole motivation for the first 6 months I was trying to change my life. She used to teach weight-lifting classes and if we had two more minutes of something she would said "Two minutes! You can do two minutes of anything!" I switch the numbers up to match the time I'm trying to achieve, but when I need to push myself five, ten, or another 1/4 mile I hear her voice in my head saying "You can do anything for ten minutes!!"
And I find that I can.