Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A few thoughts

I need to write about the wedding and honeymoon. I will, I promise.

I had a few thoughts today while at the gym and at work. Most of them were about my husband and about being married.

Several people have asked me if I feel different. It's weird, because I DO feel different. Even though Trey and I have been together for several years and lived together for a bit, being married feels much more different than dating or even being engaged.

An engagement, while it would be painful, could be broken easily.  One hasn't signed any contracts or stood in front of their family and friends (and sometimes a judge) and proclaimed their love for someone else and promised to take care of them and be truthful to them for the remainder of their lives.

This may not appear to be a big thing, but when you stand up, in front of everyone, with your future spouse and tell him (or her) that you will love them, care for them, support them and stand by them, and when you exchange rings and say "I do" all of a sudden, the relationship changes. You are legally and spiritually bound to another person for the rest of your life.  It is a powerful feeling. It's a feeling I don't think you can experience until you're married to someone.

The day after we got married I told Trey that I was so happy that we were still acting like ourselves; that I was glad that nothing about us as individuals had changed. We are still Trey and Lara. Our personalities are still the same, we still disagree on what to watch on TV, and we still have weird nicknames for each other (and our dog). But the WE of us is what's different.

Anyway, I think that made more sense in my head than it might here.

Switching topics a little I wanted to talk about one of the reasons that I love Trey so much: he has always treated my brother with respect, compassion and love. Trey doesn't let John get away with anything or blow off something that John says or does. If John does or says something that is inappropriate, Trey will discuss with John why what he did or said is inappropriate. He doesn't give him a "bye" because he has a disability. And the awesome thing is, is that he does this with EVERYONE.

I have introduced Trey to several people who have physical and/or intellectual disabilities. He has never once (at least to my knowledge) felt awkward or uncomfortable.  A lot of times people (and sometimes friends) will refer to people with Down syndrome or other intellectual disabilities as 'they' separating people with disabilities from the general population. Trey does not do this. And you know else I love? I never EVER had to "educate" him on the PC terms, lingo, phrases, etc for being a part of my world.

It's almost as if we were supposed to be together :)

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